Depletion

2010-07-13T18:15:00.002+08:00

I have a huge bruise on my thighs from the time that i fell....
Colour is changing every time I look at it.
Shades of blue-black, yellow, red and maroon.
Lovely and interesting mix of colours.

Sky, freedom, peace

2010-07-05T01:21:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I feel like looking at the deep azure sky that stretches for miles and miles to faraway lands that no one has ever heard of before.

When I stare into it's infinite depth, i would wonder would there be a magical land at it's horizon where dreams become a reality.

It would be a place where there is no misery and everyone is living in happiness.

If that was to be true, wouldn't it be wonderful?

When I stare into the sky, I get the feeling that everything will be alright even when I am in pain or when I feel that there is nothing in the world left for me to be happy about.

It always washes away my anxiety and soothes me in the best way possible.

My mind would be emptied and I could just forget about whatever I was worrying about moments before.

Rays of sunlight would wash over me, it's warmth would fill me and wash away all my tiredness.

Laying on the grass, staring at the sky and basking under the warm, gentle and healing sunlight is better then any medicine or counselling would ever be.

But all this is after all my fanciful thinking even if it may be true....

2010-05-18T16:05:00.001+08:00

Smothered by projects.
Can't breath.
Slow death.

MAY THE HOLIDAYS COME QUICKLY

2010-05-11T20:09:00.002+08:00

Jealousy is like a slow acting poison.
It slowly consumes those who's heart are planted with the seed of envy,
without anyone ever realizing it.
It will grow and grow till the day when your heart is overgrown by it and begin to spill out.

Recognizing it is the first step to controlling it.
Accepting it is the second step to liking yourself.

If you can't even do it, you will be destroyed by this evil seed.
By liking yourself, you will find that life is usually more wonderful than you can imagine.
There are layers of the beauty in life even though things may not always be smooth sailing
As long as you are able to love yourself through the acceptance of your own faults,
you will find that your faults are what makes you you.
Friends and family are the ones who love this you with your faults and all.

Our faults only make up about 2% of ourselves but our warmth and kindness is more than that as is our better selves.

This is strictly what i believe.

2010-05-07T22:55:00.002+08:00

Today at CCA we watched Kaiji.
The movie itself was a thriller and showed the worst and sort of the best side of humans but still i dun like it. It is too inhumane. The rich not only treats the poor like rubbish, they also take human lifes as a game to be gambled with. That is as long as it is not their's.

Reality in a sense yet totally wrong!!!!!

BYE BYE EXAM DAYS

2009-08-29T12:49:00.000+08:00

Finally my exams are over yesterday.

After that went to Clarke quay with xy.
Had lunch at Mac and tried the wasabi fillet-o-fish.
Not bad but the fish is too oily.

After that went shopping.
Bought a pen and a brush like pen for mom and bro
(his birthday coming and also wanted to spend money)
Then bought a clip for myself and a cute top that i fell in love with.

2009-08-05T18:20:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, FMGT lecturer cum tutor treated 8 of us to drinks and had lunch with us.
We chatted a lot since it is probably the last time that we will be taught by him.
He is rather interesting and fun and teaches well.

Amath test coming up.
So dead....
Hope I will do well this time.

Exams coming up...

2009-08-01T22:21:00.000+08:00

Saw a skirt that i wanted to buy and wear for the formal presentation on Monday.
But it was a no go.
All because of a part of my flesh on one side of my hips protruding out weirdly.
So sad.
Must get rid of it.
Wish that i could just cut it away.....

DIE!!!!!!! MY LAZY IDIOTIC SELF!!!!

2009-07-19T23:36:00.004+08:00

What I hate most in the world beside people who gives up without trying is losing to myself.
Can't stand it at all.
If I loose to myself, it means the end of me and absolute defeat.....
And I HATE defeat.

Going to do what i did in year 1 first sem.
But of cause with control and not full blown case of hysteria.

I WILL EMERGE VICTORIOUS!!!!!!!!!
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2009-07-03T21:29:00.002+08:00

I am getting more and more complacent and i am suffering for it.
I HATE the way i am right now.
So to deal with it, i am having plans to change over the next few weeks.
Wish me luck!

Dun feel like talking...

2009-06-27T12:09:00.001+08:00

Internet connection had a problem.
Mio was replaced.
Now the blog is updated.

2009-06-17T12:27:00.000+08:00

The cross that I bought at Clark Quay is not plastic.
Confirmed by my mother.

What I did

2009-06-13T11:07:00.004+08:00

This is what i did yesterday morning....The cutest cardholder ever!!

Cute isn't it?

hahahahahaha

After CT

2009-06-11T23:54:00.002+08:00

Dun ask me bout CT dun wan to talk bout it.

Anyway, when i reach home, i on my laptop to check my email and that was the best decision i made so far!
There was a mail from Np about the shanghai thing.
I was so happy!!!!
Hahahaha

I yelled and told my mom
So i logged on to see and it says that i am shortlisted for the trip even though it is not confirmed yet.
YES!!!

Went out with xy later in the afternoon, enjoyed myself tremendously if only my feet won't hurt like hell.
Bought a beautiful notebook and the cardholderss i am looking for.
Hv to decorate those later.
And also a shirt, i like it a lot:)

xy next wk sch reopen, sad, but wt else can we do?
Oh well let's just try to enjoy the holi's as much as we can.

CT next week

2009-06-04T22:07:00.002+08:00

Finish FMGT,4 chaps of FRP left with 1 chap of Frp and all of AAA.

Tmw must finish 2 chap of AAA
Then on sat finish another 2 then sun revise and finish the last chap.

Aunt coming tmw. Going out for dinner.

Swelteringly Hot !!~

2009-06-02T19:57:00.005+08:00

Today finish revising FMGT le.
No FP lec today so went home to rot.
Love kekkaishi very cool.
I want to be as powerful too!! Like this can destroy the things i don' t like.
Hahahaha

Amaths is fun as always.
SKS is lame but still very funny Serene is also funny can't believe that she can be nearly as lame as KSK.Hahahaha.
It is a compliment!
But i guess i have to admit that i am lame too. But their jokes are very funny.
Can die of laughing.

Still in love with my wind chime.

Feelings~

2009-06-01T16:25:00.004+08:00

Aunt coming to S'pore this wed.
Meeting her on fri for dinner....or is it lunch?......
Sat no time to study cos need to bring her tour round S'pore.
Need to study all by this fri.

CCA.....don't think I can go......sad......

Tired, sleepy, hot.......

Love my wind chime.

Study

2009-05-29T23:14:00.002+08:00

This is the first time in a long while that i am really serious in studying.
And then it all suddenly came back to me, the fulfillment of remembering everything that i hv memorised. the power of being able to blurt it all out even if it is in chunks.
Hahahaha....
But i still hv to admit that the process is not smooth at all.
Still hv a long road ahead of me and i must do my best to be the best. This will be the best reward for myself ever! The feeling of achievement as well as a sense of pride but at the same time, the bitter sweet feeling of sweat and tears all rolled into one.
Can you understand that feeling?
Have you ever felt this way before?
It is as though the whole world is within your grasp and that you have the power to make anything happen. That sensation cannot be explained by using mere words. You have to do it and feel it yourself to understand what i am saying right now.

For those who know what i am talking about, then i congratulate you as you have known the wonders of what we ourselves are able to do. You know that you yourself is capable of anything as long as you put your mind to it and perservere on even if there are many obstacles along the way.
This is the human spirit.
As long as you do not admit defeat and continue towards your goal despite what others say and even if you failed, you are a winner. You did not give up even though this thought might have crossed your mind several times. As long as you pick yourself up when you have fallen, you will eventually succeed.
Have faith in yourself. Even though i am no philosopher, however this is what i believe in so i hope to share it with those who bother to read this post.

Prince of tennis!!!!

2009-05-29T15:50:00.002+08:00

Falling in love with Ryoma.
He is so cool!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
Oh shit.
Need to control myself.

Breathe!

2009-05-28T23:03:00.005+08:00

So how do you like my new skin?
The wind chime is nice!
Thank's euu!!

Special right?
Hahahaha!!
I love it!!!
Btw, it will change design everytime you visit.

3 modules to be tested....
sigh******
Dun feel like studying...
Need to buck up.....
加油！！

复活！！！！！！！！！！

2009-05-26T10:37:00.002+08:00

Hey All!!
I'm back!!
Too busy and dun feel like updating the blog.
But now I'm back.

Not promising anything.
Will update when i feel like it only.

So see ya
Need to change the skin.....
When i am free then do it....
Now so tired.

2008-08-15T16:51:00.003+08:00

So one exam down and 3 more to go.

Think I did badly for this exam, Macroeconomics.
But dun think will fail this module or flunk it.

Was feeling down, but met Liru so I was happy.
Thanks!

Missed her very much and all my other friends as well.
Can't wait for this nightmare to be over.
So looking forward to the holis.

2008-08-01T21:19:00.002+08:00

Today went for CCA.
We made sushi and there was an announcement about having an anime and drama marathon in September. There is a whole lot of anime and drama for us to choose and we can begin to watch it from 9am to 10 pm!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am in heaven! But i think i will be the only one going.
Oh and the sushi was delicious.
I got rid of my stress when I am with my LMS class and at the club.

2008-07-18T22:55:00.007+08:00

Today is officially the best day of my life!

In LMS today, we have an activity a bit like truth or dare. We have to go out of the class and ask the people outside to help us do things or give us something. I was supposed to ask an opposite sex to treat me to a drink, luckily, someone I know from jvs was there so it was no sweat for me!
Hahahahaha!

One group, a guy have to dress up with hair clips and shawls and walk around to ask 3 other guys and 1 girl, at the canteen, whether he was sexy or not! Actually I told him to do that. Hahahaha!
And we got loads of fun dressing him up.

And today is my first time going to my new cca! So happy!
We did origami today and guess wt?!
We won first prise!

The Frog Prince. I mean King. The Frog King!
Our prise!!!!

Show and tell time! Stories told that will surprise you........( I think................)

2008-07-15T14:12:00.002+08:00

Shit!
DSS- Excel project PBL 2 have to be handed in on Sun!
So rush! Left with 6 qns to do.
SIGH***********************

So looking forward to the holi's......

Things to do during the holi's: SLEEP
SLEEP
SLEEP
go out with friends
go to xy's sch
go out with mum
buy comics
borrow more books
SLEEP
SLEEP
SLEEP

2008-07-14T11:30:00.003+08:00

I feel as though there is a hole in my heart.
And i feel so tired, not enough sleep and can't sleep any longer then 8 hrs.
Lose weight all because of this.
Can't wear any of my jeans without a belt.

Need to gain weight during the 7 weeks holiday.

At the bbq at andrea's, i finally was able to relax.
I feel contented with them there.
It was all so comforting and familiar.
Wish that it could be that way forever.
But there need to be changes if not time will stay fixed.
Feeling so sad today.

Macroeconomics test later.
Need to stay till 6.40pm.
Afraid that i will fail.
Too tired.
Dunno if i can focus or not.

2008-06-25T13:56:00.000+08:00

maid cafe latte chap 26 is OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wahahahahaha

this really made my day!

2008-06-25T13:26:00.003+08:00

Ok so now my mood is considerably better than just now.
Think is cos yiting called me.
During my poa class, scared me to death when my hp suddenly rang and the was like where was the melody coming from.
So i immediately ans and told her i was in class.

After class i call her back and chatted with her.
Happiest moment of the day really.
Had lunch with Rachel, only the 2 of us this time and i like it better than a large group of ppl.
(Hahaha)

So, ya all in all still ok la.
Not sure if it is the same later.

2008-06-23T11:59:00.002+08:00

I hate today.

Why must we go to school?
and why must there be a 2 hr break in between?
If no break then i can go home at 1.
Stupid to hv 2 hr break.

Mood is totally black.
Dun like to go to sch.
Dun like the project.
Dun like the food. etc

2008-06-20T22:11:00.002+08:00

Today is the day of the OUTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So long nv see stacey le, today finally meet her! So happy!
Ya and of course i got scare her first before saying hi to her:D
She shocked or is it surprised i cut my hair. Haha!

Went to west coast after that and enjoyed myself there, took loads of pic but need to wait for them to send me the pic so that i can upload on blog

Went Vivo to eat dinner after that and to meet up eu, xy, jy and cat.
Cat also shock that i cut my hair.
Scared me when she suddenly yell out my name, i later then remember i cut my hair le
and she did'n know bout it.
Heehee:P
too blur le... dun even remember i cut hair.........

So all in all, i enjoyed myself and laughed until my stomach and back, ached :D
Been a long time since i hv laughed and really mean it.
Well..... actually i can only laugh naturally is when i am with the girlsand the other times,
just smile or laugh along if not no laughter at all.
(Unless the joke is really very funny la!)

So looking forward to the next outing organised by Stacey!

2008-06-17T16:39:00.003+08:00

Should not hv read or even glance at my modules notes beforehand....
made me sick just looking at them, so many things to memorise and to study.
My files are now so bloated that i dun think i can squeeze in another sheet of paper!

2008-06-16T20:46:00.002+08:00

Today went out with my np friends then went to fetch xy from sch.
bought a new shirt and 2 new earrings. All in all rather fun.

Then i went to rp there. Next time dun follow xy's direction. Ask ppl better than follow her's.
(Hahaha)
In the end' i am still able to reach there so it is all right and her sch is big and beautiful! Love the library there, so roomy! and everything there is so modern! Next time see if i can go to her sch for lecture for 1 day to try it out.

2008-06-15T08:29:00.002+08:00

So how do u like my new skin?
Sweet and cute isn' it?

Yesterday, went to Chinatown and Clark Quay, bought a string of coral stones and a packet of clasp to help fix xinyu fix her necklace. Joni was really in heaven yesterday as we walk from one bead shop to another.
Hahaha!
Eunice was able to get a necklace for xinyu and it really is very beautiful, the necklace, all 3 of us like it a lot. :)
Bought a new pair of shorts at clark quay, think the person gave me a 10% discount....

Really looking forward to the picnic next fri!!!:)

2008-06-14T11:46:00.003+08:00

I am so gonna get a new skin for my blog.
Even if i do like it, it still get kind of dull after a while.
Think need to change it by the end of the holi'ds, shit!
Why must the holi'ds be so short?
And not to mention the projects that must be done during it and the hmwk.
So officially speaking, it is not a holi'd for us, it is more like a 2 weeks break of pure undiluted torture.

So looking forward to the semester break!
NO HMWK, NO SCHL, NO PROJECT, NO TEACHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-11T20:50:00.004+08:00

Ok, so now i feel better, if not hollow inside, ya, and my heart feel like a big chunk is missing and all but i'll live.

I dun care bout whether how they think about me le. At least that is wt i am trying to do anyway. Need to clarify a few things though, it is not everyone of them ignored me just that they dun recognise me that day due to my change of hairstyle. It is that specific person who ignores me. So think i need to clear up this thing and say that i am rather sorry that i let it get to me so much.

Now, i dun really care anymore and dun want to. I know that i hv done nothing wrong and that's enough, maybe next year, i'll know someone whom i really click with. That is a brighter side that i look forward to.

Anyway, i hv friends who are always willing to lend a helping hand or a sympathetic ear to me when i am in need. I could not ask for better friends than them, could i? So now whenever i am feeling stressed or just plain annoyed with things, i will meet up with them and just being with them is refreshing and rejuvenating enough for me to escape the harshness of life.

Looking forward to the outing Joni is organising think it will be relaxing.

2008-05-31T21:47:00.003+08:00

Today is my first common test in NP. Considering that i was a nervous wreck in the morning, i done pretty well for my POA test. At least i am able to balance my accounts though i wrote crap for my theories.

I really hate a few people in my class. Especially one girl.
I don't really hate her at first but i got the feeling that she don't like me at all from her body language, her attitude and most importantly the way she answer me when i talk to her.

I am always the one who approach her to talk to her or ask her questions and whenever she replies me she don't look at me to reply my questions, she just look away or look downwards to reply me. I don't understand why she won't look straight in my face and answer. Am i that hideous to look at?

There was also once when i said hi to her cheerfully smiling nicely and all that and guess how she reply me?
She merely look my way, saw that it was me waving to her and she only sort of do this action which is like the twinkle twinkle little star the song that hand action. No smile on her face nothing like so unhappy to see me like that.

What the HELL

My friend from the orientation camp was with me that time and she also noticed her way of greeting me and was saying how come she like this one.

Then today the same thing happen. I said hi to her and she looked at another friend of mine to say hi. To my friend only! How rude could a person get?
I mean like if someone say hi to you, you look the person in the face and say hi back to him or her with a smile or something which shows that you recognise the person and all that. Do you get what i mean?

I was so pissed off!

When i see some other girl classmates of mine, i approach them to say hi. NO REACTION!!
Is it me or do they don't like me at all? I talk to them, help them with their work and questions and this all lead to them not liking me.
LOVELY.......

My mum told me that if i am unable to even take this type of psychological torture, then i am unable to face the working world. This is a small thing which is irrelevant i should not be so saddened or angered and unhappy over this. If i am so unhappy over this type of matter, they would have won which is something i am not willing to give them the satisfaction of.

I CAN'T ALLOW THEM TO AFFECT ME THIS WAY.
I CAN'T ALLOW THEM TO HAVE ANY CONTROL OVER ME AT ALL!!!
SO WHAT IF I WON'T HAVE FRIENDS?
I DON'T HAVE TO CARE AS LONG AS I KNOW THAT I HAVE NOT BETRAYED MY PRINCIPLES AND HAVE NOTHING AGAINST MY CONSCIENCE.

THEY CAN ALL GO TO HELL FOR ALL I CARE.

I will still continue to be helpful of course, i am not so bad and cruel as to take revenge this way.
'sides i am unable to leave anyone in a bad situation no matter how much i don't like them. It is against my principle to do so.

Why am i such a sensitive person? SIGH*****
Get so worked up because of their attitude towards me.
And i can't believe that i am such a nice person now, if it was in the past, i would have plotted against them and have executed out my revenge to cause them psychological pain and unhappiness.
Think i will do it when i am in dreamland... at least i will have the satisfaction of imagining it out.
Sadistic i know.

Anyway MAY THEY ROT IN ****

2008-05-21T11:59:00.000+08:00

Should i get a new skin?
Seems rather boring.........
But still like it.

2008-05-21T11:48:00.003+08:00

So STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Common test coming soon. Surprise that i dun hv white hair now.
(SIGH**************)

2008-04-28T22:06:00.002+08:00

I am SO STRESSED up that i had a fever on Saturday.
I applied too much stress onto myself, that's why i fell ill.
Stupid i know but i can't help it.

I worry too much.
Bout my Exams whether i will fail it or not, whether i will get used to my new friends and accept them for who they are and NOT compare them with my old friends.
And now my newest worry is that whether i chose my course wisely or not i think that i chose the wrong course.

This type of stress i can really do without. Do anyone know how to prevent me from giving myself too much stress?

And i don't really think that i am used to poly life yet.
Only slightly used to it that's all.
Think i need a few more months.
I hope.....

I started a new blog yesterday

2008-04-19T22:17:00.002+08:00

2008-04-14T18:41:00.003+08:00

I am so happy today! My classes starts today and it was really interesting. Though i dont really understand all that is said but i get the gist of it all. Before the lesson 2 of the lecturer spoke to us bout wt is expected from us. The first speaker is a woman, she told us bout our modules throughout the year and rules and regulations that hv to be followed. The way things she spoke about were alien to me. But most importantly, she told us that if we fail our modules in the first semester we hv to do it again in the second semester and if we fail that too we will be dismissed from the module. If we are late for 2 to 3 times by 1-15 min, we will also be dismissed. Absence from lecture without an MC or it is not submitted within 48 hrs, we will be dismissed.

(This is just like holding a knife to our neck and threatening us to obey!)

The other speaker was a male and he says that it is VERY easy to pass the test and exam. A student of his asked him why another fellow student was able to pass when his studies was so poor! ( This was wt he told us. cant believe it.)
This is exactly like ying and yang. Both balances the other.

Oh! Almost forgot to say that there is no japanese class today and i didn't know bout it. ( Didn't check my mail)

Anyway i really enjoyed myself today with my new friend. It was so fun and the library was so OH MY GOD! this should be able to explain it sufficiently enough.

2008-04-12T20:40:00.001+08:00

read through the notes of my subjects and i found out that it is very interesting.
(except for the learning the excel part...)
Hope that my team members are enthusiastic like i am...

2008-04-12T19:28:00.002+08:00

Think there is something wrong with my hormones.
I cried after the first day of my orientation camp, worrying bout school work and all that.
Day 2 did not cry.
Day 3 cry again.(sigh)

Cried because worried that i will forget my sec friends and that they forget me.
I want our friendship and the way that we act when we are together to remain the same and last forever.
I dun want to be like so polite when we meet like we are strangers and not friends of deep understanding and history.
It is terrifying to imagine that we will no longer shoot each other with sarcasm and talk freely to each other bout everything and anything.

This is not wt i want. Please dun let it come true.

I feel better today after going out and laughing till i got a stomache with my friends.
I really love them even when they are moody angry or just plain silly.
And i dun use love this word so freely while referring to human beings.
This shows wt they mean to me.
Still they also hv the same worries as me which means i am not alone.
And i get the feeling that our friendship just might last through the years.

2008-04-08T16:55:00.002+08:00

Skip Beat book 18 is out!
Actually, I bought it on Sun after wushu. Ren is so 帅！

2008-04-06T19:32:00.002+08:00

KKKKKKKKKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The best things in life happened to me today!
I found out that my favourite anime has a new series and Skip Beat book 18 is out!

HAHAHAHA! Is this great or wt?

I simply love Skip Beat the main male character! Hopefully his real identity will be revealed to the girl he likes soon. And is he gorgeous or wt, no matter whether his hair colour is gold or brown! Most importantly I wish that the girl realises her real feelings for him and not go back to the guy she liked at first.

Man is this the best comic ever or wt?!

2008-04-03T12:44:00.002+08:00

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Skip Beat 120 is out!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I waited so long for it and now at last! It is so sweet when Len give her the rose and wishes her a Happy Birthday. I am now contented for the time being. I LOVE THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-03-27T10:45:00.002+08:00

Went to Chinatown yesterday to buy kimchi but while we were there, we stumbled upon a shop selling beads so we bought 2 books on the beads craft and i bought 2 packets of crystals and a packet of small round golden beads.

I hate to wash fish and is forced to do so today in the morning!(is it disgusting or wt) The fishy smell is still lingering on my hands!( YUCK!!)

2008-03-21T17:31:00.004+08:00

Yesterday i went out with 3 of my friends. But before going to bugis to shop, another friend and i went to collect our pay. It was then that i finally feel the chains of work falling off me.( Man was that a great feeling or wt!)

After that, we went to bugis street (or is it village?) and the junction there to shop. I cant really believe i bought a hat( or is it a cap?) It is the first time i felt that i look good wearing a cap(or hat). Oh and i bought a top at IP Zone for $10 when the original price is $23.( Heehee!!)

And i dont really think u will believe that i bought a pair of shorts just for $17.20 when it's original price is $43!?( WAHAHAHA)

But of course most importantly, i enjoy my day with my friends very much.

2008-03-19T09:29:00.002+08:00

I can't believe that i woke up at 7.33 just to go to np to hv the programmes installed into my laptop! I got an exercise just simply by tugging the laptop along and up the slopes to BLK 46.

Man! Wt a way to start a day. And i miss One Piece all because of this. And it is going to be another exciting and hilarious episode. Oh and if i dun hv to wait till the laptop convention open, so that i could go and get a new and functional mouse. If not i am already back home enjoying the show.
( Sigh** Oh well it is my decision anyway so wt the heck!)

2008-03-18T14:53:00.002+08:00

I am going to say goodbye to the past and walk on. Towards the light at the end of the tunnel, my future, my hope, my world.

I will not regret my decisions. This is path that i have chosen to walk so walk i shall towards the light that is my destination. I will hold my head high and step by step i walk steadyly forward. Though slow but careful. Though careful but confident. This is my way.

Mistakes i made on my way towards the light that is my goal, are my obstacles . They slow me down, they make me stop in track, they make me fall but they will never make me give up; I will pick myself up when i fall, i will remove the blockage that is in my way and i will continue walking on even if i am slowed down till one i am able to resume my pace again.

And soon i am going to emerge from the tunnel and into the light....

2008-03-17T20:51:00.003+08:00

I went to np today and i was afraid. I am afraid that i will not get used to my new school life,
i am afraid that i will not be able to any make friends,
i am afraid of rejection,
i am afraid of being hurt,
i am afraid that i will not be able to understand my lessons,
i am afraid that i will fail,
i am afraid....

I dont know why.
I want to cry but am unable to. Tears are unable flow down my cheeks. My eyes are dry.
But my heart is cracking, breaking into tiny pieces.
But still i am denied of my right to cry.

My heart is clenching tightly like a fist that is being clenched so tightly that it is bleeding.
This pain is called unease, uncertainty and fear.
If only i am able to let my tears flow, i won't be torturing myself so badly now.

I want to use my tears to wash away all my worldly burdens and be back to my normal carefree self. No fear. No worries. No unhappiness. Just like before.

I don't know why. Is it because of the unhappy experience of my job? I have already quit but still the memory of it haunts me. All the unhappy things that happened there, the unreasonable attitudes of the people working there and the mistakes i made there. Hurtful words said to me are still buried deep within me, causing me unspeakable pain.

Still i am unable to cry.......

But even so, i know that no matter what, i will not give up. I will keep walking towards my dreams though they are still yet unclear to me. I will proudly hold my head high and walk with confidence no matter what obstacles or sadness that might be blocking my path in the future.

And when i am old, i will look back and remember all that had happen and smile.
For i have conquered all that is impossible and is victorious.

2008-03-14T21:52:00.003+08:00

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

I cant believe it! My friends and i went out today to suntec for our outing and guess wt? I was tricked by them! All 7 of them!

I thought it was just our normal outing.( U know, just the usual go out enjoy laugh and meet up that type.) But in actual fact it was to celebrate my birthday! I was kept in the dark until we hv finish our meal at Swensen. Even when the waiter took out the cake i still don't know wt's happening! ( Can u believe it? I am so dump!) When they sang the birthday song, i just clapped along growing more and more confused. Question marks just popped up around me. THEN i finally know that they were celebrating my birthday with me.

Let me ask u-Where can u find friends like that? I am really lucky to hv this kind of good friends. I was just so touched that i don't even know wt to say! I hope the wish i made when i blow out the candles of the cake will come true. Please let it come true.( But to tell u the truth, i was really pissed with myself for being so easily tricked! AAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh )

2008-03-12T21:00:00.002+08:00

Hey! Guess wt? I finally changed my blogskin! Isn't it amazing? I simply love this skin!
It is from the newest chapter of tsubasa, the comic, posted online! Beautiful ain't it?

( A big kiss for my skin! MUAH!)

(Oh and btw, it really unbelievable i actually took the initiative to change my blogskin. Hahahaha!!)

2008-03-11T18:11:00.002+08:00

I am totally frightened to death by the aspect of going to the orientation camp in np! Wt if i cant get used to the environment there? Wt if i cant make any friends? This questions keep circling about in my mind....

(Think i'm ' bout to go crazy...)

Guess i'll just hv to find out myself and create a miracle...

2008-03-06T16:45:00.002+08:00

Sorry for not updating my blog...

'Cause nothing to write so did not update.
( my life is boring enough as it is...)

Anyway, i now can go online without the USB connecting the laptop to the modem. Change to mio already so that's wonderful ain't it?

2008-02-29T10:09:00.005+08:00

I forgot to update my blog yesterday. So now i'm gonna write bout wt happened yester and today.

( I know that i did not spell out all my words but i'm lazy! So please give the girl a break thanks!)

YESTERDAY

I went with my friend to the restaurant to 'company her to return her unif. ( thank god that was over fast!) To celebrate our release from work we went to vivo city, ST , to eat. Man were we full! We cant even finish our food! ( Wt a waste...) Page One was of course our main destination and do i love that store or wt! And i can tell u that i bought 2 books and a pendant which i was told, the craftsmanship was from Egypt and the silver from Italy. He reduced the price of it from S$60 to S$24! (I really love that pendant. It is rectangle in shape, the stone is framed with silver and at 2 of the corners, the silver overlap's it in the form of a type of creeping plant)

TODAY

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I missed One Piece today!? Why did i oversleep!? Luffy was giving the enemy the final blow when i switched the TV! ( sigh***) The Greek Masterpieces From the Louvre exhibition is simply stunning ( I went there with my mum today) the craftsmanship is unbelievable and the details are finely defined through the carving of the statues right down to their facial expressions! ( Kind of scary really, it is as though the statues themselves are alive and staring back at u...) Oh and i finally received the envelope containing the forms i need to fill out for my application to np.( Man is it giving me a headache! Can' t understand some of the criteria and wt it expect me to do. The guides r not clear enough...)

Here r 2 pic taken at the museum

2008-02-27T13:49:00.004+08:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is my first posting on my first blog!?
It is so unbelievable!!! (Since i am a computer idiot! -_- )
So from now on, i am gonna vent all my emotions into it!
MWHAHAHAHA....... MWHAHAHAHA......

Oh and i almost forgot! I got so involved with laughing that i forgot i need to thank Yiting, FFE.
:)

I went to TONIANDGUY with Yiting today to 'company her to dye her hair, and to return my unif since i'm already there. And guess wt? I saw the 2 people i hate there!! WT THE!!??
(sigh***) T T
Really need to get over my hatred of them and that horrible place!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(This time i scream in frustration...and i know that i seem crazy or mad but i'm not. Sorry for scaring u)

Well that all for now. Keep u posted!